02 November, 2008

Memento Mori


The title phrase cautions us that we are all mortal. It's All Souls Day. In the Catholic religion it's a day to remember friends and loved ones who have died (there's more to it, actually, involving Purgatory, but we'll just keep it simple).

My friend Dave's mom passed away today. My partner of 15 years died in June. Since that date, I've noticed that I am much more attuned and sensitized to the experience of dying. I've had a couple of friends who have lost close family members over the past several months. I've also been reading Mark Doty's book, "Dog Years: A Memoir," which speaks to the experience of living and dying and the relationships and bonds between humans and dogs. It's quite wonderful and has been a great comfort (and source of tears).

At the memorial gathering for my partner Charles, I chose to have a floral arrangement evocative of the Baroque Vanitas paintings, spefically those of Rachel Ruysch. The subject matter of this style of painting includes symbolic elements that remind us of the temporary nature of life - a dragonfly, a bubble, a clock, a burned-down candle, and sometimes a skull. The description sounds quite morbid, but the renderings are quite lovely, I think. Above is a photo of the admirable creation my forist did using only the computer print-outs I provided her. Since I couldn't preserve a bubble, I used an old glass fishing net float that belonged to Charles' parents. On the top of the two books is a bunch of rosemary, which symbolizes remembrance. The clock serves to symbolize two things - that Charles loved to travel and the time that he died, 7:01 a.m.