My Cousin Dawnia's Music Video . . .

My cousin, Dawnia Dresser, is in a duo called Vertigo Road.  I just rediscovered this video on my computer desktop last night and thought that I'd share it with all and sundry.  Being a musician myself (albeit a lapsed one), I admire their talent and artistry.   Hope that y'all will enjoy it!

Of an Evening in Late Summer . . .

Greetings, Blogophiles! My "VV" key is still dead, so you'll have to bear vvith my makeshift double-vees! 

My day vvas a lazy one.  I've been reading "Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Svveet," by Montana author Jamie Ford.  The plot revolves around a Chinese-American boy, Henry Lee, and a Japanese-American girl, Keiko Okabe.  It's set during VVorld VVar II and also in 1986.  The VVorld VVar II sections are set directly before and then during the internment of Japanese-Americans in detention camps around the U.S.  It's very poignant and, yes, bitter-svveet.

If I'm not in the Blog-Zone, I most likely can be found on my Facebook page.  Facebook seems to be a convenient and reasonably painless vvay to keep people current on any significant - or, more likely, trivial - happenings in my life. 

I'm off for a vvalk on this beautiful evening in late summer.  The sky is blue, shadovvs are lengthening, and the colors are vibrant, Technicolor-esque!  I must go partake!

So, ciao for niao!

Return of the Prodigal?

Thanks in part to Tina Rathbone's blandishments, I have returned to the BLOGOSPHERE! I've been settling into my Montana digs nicely and feel that it's home.

This post will be brief, since I am "W"-less!  My regular laptop succumbed to some sort of malaise and is currently an inpatient at the local computer doctor.  So, I'm using my vintage 2000 Gateway Solo computer which just lost the spring in its "W" two nights ago.  Until I discovered the XP On-Screen Keyboard, I had been substituting tvvo "V's" for "VV's."  Actually, the "V double-U's" are kinda cool-looking!

As I write, there is a definite breath of autumn in the air.  Certainly we'll warm up to be summer-esque again for a while, but seasonal change is imminent! 

Fall is a season of melancholy, at least for me.  But I actually enjoy the poignancy of the autumnal reflective mode - long walks in crisp smoke-scented air.  Besides, my birthday is in October and my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving! 

There!  I feel better having added an entry!  Thanks, Tina, for the gentle nudge!

"Time passes slowly up here in the mountains . . . " - Bob Dylan

Lima, MT

I have been in Whitefish for three days.  Each day it feels like a bit more of the weight from the past couple of years falls from my shoulders.  I stayed at Jan's Cafe and Cabins on Friday night.  It's close to the Continental Divide (note the snow on the mountains) and was the perfect place to spend my first night in my new home state.  The photo above is of a stream that runs through the small town of Lima, MT.  I sat by this stream and reflected on my journey and my planned arrival in Whitefish the following day. 

And now I am home.  I've been focused on getting myself established here, attending AA meetings and staving off the loneliness that I know accompanies a move of this consequence.  Phone calls back to friends in San Diego help.  But, it's necessary for me to embrace the loneliness as part of the process - very similar to the grieving process, actually.  There can be solace in solitude.  I'll try to remember that in the coming days and weeks.

The Hesitation Waltz

Hmmmm . . . two entries in as many days' time. I amaze myself.

I definitely am doing my own version of the Hesitation Waltz as I prepare to leave Charles' and my townhome and San Diego. Am I making the right decision? Will I wind up regretting my move and leaving my friends our shared history behind?  Will I be able to make a go of it in Montana?  Will I meet a great guy up there who loves being in the Rockies as much as I do - someone whose sense of paradise leans more toward mountains and less toward beaches?

Charles used to describe me as "poor conflicted Jack." In many ways, he's right. I don't know whether it's a Libra trait, a Jack Albrecht trait, or just a human one for me to hem and haw, to deliberate and to over-analyze my decisions. I just know that's how I seem to have operated all of my life.

The etymology of "decide" is literally "to cut off," (de- "off" + cædere "to cut"). It has to do with resolving to do something and taking action. So, perhaps my state could be termed, more appropriately, INdecisive. I've heard that Charlie Brown is a Libra, a bit on the wishy-washy side and a worrier. Good grief! ;)

A Soft re-Entry

Downtown Whitefish, Montana

For the few among you who have encouraged me to pick up my laptop and continue entries in my blog, I've decided that it's time. I began this blog thinking that it'd be Didion-esque, a la "The Year of Magical Thinking," where I would track my journey through grief-land. The reality was that I was just too involved in getting myself through than sharing my feelings with all and sundry.

My therapist says that I am safely on the "other' side of grief. I agree, but also know that the death of someone close changes you inextricably and profoundly. I wouldn't want it any other way ~ it's a continuing tribute to Charles and his memory.

Today's will be a short re-Entry. Perhaps part of the problem was that I had no clue or inspiration about how to proceed with this thing, but I think that I do now.

I have been cleaning Charles' and my townhome in preparation for its sale. Of course, this set me on a journey through long-stashed boxes, winnowing through the stuff inside and rediscovery of things forgotten. Among those things was a poem I had written almost twenty years ago for a guy I was dating. I figure what better way to resume this blog than by posting this poem. I'm not really one to write poetry, but I was rather impressed with this, even if it's mine ~ but, perhaps I'm just easily impressed!


for S

if I were a poet
I would gather similes
like sheaves of wheat
comparing you to some bardish fancies
beguiling you with my come-hither glances
I would charm you, disarm you
with odes and sonnets
rhyme couplets as florid as Easter bonnets.

but, alas, my bent is of stodgier fashion
than forger of meter, iambic of passion
what my words cannot say
might be best left unsaid
will you sense by my touch
what's locked safe in my head?

Jack Albrecht, 12/12/1990

A beautiful day at La Jolla Cove

I can't believe that my last entry for this thing was way back in early December. My journey through grief has landed me back in the land of the living. I am beginning to embrace life and all of its possibilities again. I spent part of this Sunday morning with my friend Dave exploring La Jolla Cove. It's comforting to be able simply to savor the beauty of a clear spring day on the California coast.